Living A Lie
by Nadja Lee
Summary: Set in an Alternative Universe of the AoA world. Scott is going blind, Sinister and Cecilia fight to save him but are they too late to save him...and themselves?


Living A Lie                                                              

By Nadja Lee       11/05/01

English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.

Disclaimer: "X-men" and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.

Disclaimer: "Heartcliff" and all associated songs and lyrics belong to Sir Cliff Richard, Tim Rice, record company and several others and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.

Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.

Timeline: Set in the AoA universe, a long time before the "Factor X" story line and before the "Tales Of Apocalypse" stories.

Pairing: An unusual one. 

Summary: Set in an AU AoA world. Scott is going blind and Sinister and Cecilia fight to save him.

Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.

Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is neh@post10.tele.dk.

For L. Burke who gave me the idea for this story though this was probably not what you meant *LOL*

Dedicated to: Jemisard. Your words are as beautiful as your mind. 

Rating: R

Warning: Dark. Contains an unusual pairing. Also this story balances between darkness, drama, tragedy and black humour. Consider yourselves warned.  

With thanks to Misty for keeping me writing with her gentle words and kind encouragement.  

Words in [mmm] are translated. 

Thanks to Estelle for the Beta and Nadia for help with the Farsi.  

Author's notes: Cecilia's quote in the end is from "A Misunderstood Man" by Cliff Richard. This story also contains lines inspired from or quoted from Cliff Richard's "I Do Not Love You, Isabella" , "Marked For Death" and "Be With Me Always". They're all from "Heartcliff"- a brilliant work of art that I highly recommend everyone who loves darker lyrics and haunting voices that goes towards Gothic in the choice of words. There's also a mention to "Romeo And Juliet" in here that you can try and find if you're bored *LOL*.

Part 1:

" Alex, debrief!" Prelate Scott Summers demanded as he spotted his brother. Scott had just led Alex and his other prelates into battle against a small local rebel force. Under Scott's command the place had been wiped out. They had now returned to the compound where the pens that Scott supervised were. 

" I led my group in from west as you ordered. We have 30 confirmed kills," Alex told his older brother with a hint of jealousy in his voice when he had mentioned that Scott, as usual, had had command.

" God damn it! I needed someone alive!" Scott said hotly. " You got no one alive?"

" No. We had 5 wounded but they died."

" You mean you killed them," Scott said sharply.

" Whatever. Besides I thought you got one alive."

" I did."

" But…" Alex pressed.

" But she had succeeded in hiding a poisonous pill. Before my guards could react, she had swallowed it and died," Scott told him with anger in his voice.

" Did I know the guards?" Alex asked as the two brothers started to walk towards their rooms on the upper levels of the compound.

 " If you did you won't see them anymore," Scott said harshly.

" If you keep killing all guards who make one mistake, we'll soon run out of guards," Alex said good naturally. Scott turned towards him.

" We all have a job to do. Those who can't do it well enough, we have no need for."

" Don't you dare look at me when you say that, 'brother'", Alex said angrily. " It was only one time and it wasn't my fault."

" Alex, it has happened before and it was your fault. You executed the wrong prisoner. We had still need for the one you killed," Scott said and knew that they were heading into an argument, which they lately had had many times before.

" I had nothing to do with that," Alex protested. Scott was about to comment on that as a blinding pain hit his skull. He took his hands to his temples and tried desperately not to cry out.

" Scott! Scott, what is it?" Alex's voice came to Scott through a haze of pain. Scott felt his vision fade in and out as the pain forced him to his knees. 

" Scott!" Alex yelled worried as Scott passed out with a wordless cry and fell to the floor.

Part 2:

" Ohh," Scott moaned and came around. A tall mocha colored woman leaned over him.

" You've decided to join the living again?" she asked as she took his pulse. " Good, 'cause I know someone who's anxious to talk to you, not to mention that your prelates are getting suspicious, especially your brother."

" Not now, Cecilia," Scott complained and rubbed his temples. The pain wasn't as strong but it was still there.

" I gave you something for the pain," Cecilia said as she saw his action.

" Cecilia," Scott said, a warning in his voice. Painkillers weren't used, especially not among the Elite. They were, after all, the strong and should be able to handle anything. It was a world for the strong; second best didn't cut it.

" Don't 'Cecilia' me, Mister. Without the drugs you wouldn't be able to stay conscious," Cecilia said, for a moment forgetting he was no longer the little boy she had taken care of as she went to open the door. 

" Had it been anyone else…" Scott mumbled.

" I wouldn't have gotten away with talking like that, I know. Then it is good that I wasn't someone else," Cecilia said with a smile as she opened the door and Sinister came in. 

" How is he?" Sinister asked and laid a hand on Cecilia's shoulder, in warning or for support she wasn't sure. She smiled reassuringly to him.

" He is fine now," she said and guided Sinister to Scott's bedside.

" Father," Scott acknowledged. 

" Son, how are you feeling?" concern was in his voice as he sat down.

" I have no strong pain but…she drugged me!" a hint of accusation and humor was in Scott's voice as his shaded eyes found Cecilia's on the other side of the bed. She just smiled at him. Sinister laughed, the sound almost scaring Cecilia more than when he was angry; seeing Sinister laugh was like seeing a star go nova. 

" Cecilia knows what she does," he said.

" 'Course I do," Cecilia said proudly, trying to keep him in his good mood while trying desperately to hide how much this rare praise meant to her. " But that is also why we need to know what happened," she looked intensely at Scott.

" I was talking with Alex. Suddenly it felt like my head would explode, my vision faded in and out. Then I passed out," Scott explained.

" Hmm," Cecilia said. " Was it like the other times?"  

  " Before it was only pain but now…. I passed out! I'm ranking prelate. I can't pass out," Scott said, a note of desperation in his voice.

" Keep calm, son. Cecilia knows this," Sinister broke in, his tone leaving no room for argument.

" I would like to run a CAT scan on Scott," Cecilia said with a frown.

" You know what is wrong, don't you?" Sinister pressed.

" Maybe," she admitted and got the machine ready.

" Tell me!" Sinister demanded and Cecilia sighed.

" Scott suffered brain damage from his fall as a child, we all know that but…. I fear a tumor has developed and that it is pressing on his second cranial nerve, N. Opticus," Cecilia explained as she with Sinister's help wheeled Scott's bed so that his head was in the big machine that would scan him.

" And that means…" Scott pressed her.

" That unless I can remove it, it'll grow and you'll lose your eyesight within a few months and eventually die within 2 years as the tumor grows," she admitted sadly.

" NO! I forbid it!" Sinister protested hotly as Scott's CAT results showed up on Cecilia's computer. 

" This is one thing you can't command or manipulate, Sinister," Cecilia said with a shake of her head as Scott got out from his bed now that the scan was over and went over to look at the results with Cecilia.

" What does it show?" he asked as Cecilia studied his results for a while.

" It is a tumor. See, it is here," Cecilia pointed to something in the picture, which meant little to Scott. 

" And? You can fix it, right?"

" I'm not God, Scott. I'm just a doctor and this it beyond science," Cecilia admitted sadly. 

" You WILL cure my son!" Sinister demanded and stepped threateningly towards her. She forced herself to not draw down though her heart was in her throat.

" I'll love to, just tell me what to do," she said with sadness in her voice.

" You'll cure my son or die!" Sinister threatened, his red eyes shinning dangerously.

" Then I guess I'll die. I can't do what is impossible. Only a miracle can help him now," Cecilia said, desperately hoping he wouldn't take her up on that. She didn't wish to die but she couldn't do the impossible. Her palms were sweaty because she was so nervous so to try and keep her thoughts away fro what Sinister might do to her she turning her back on both men and she started to clean up her lab.

" A miracle…or a little help," Sinister said out loud, having clearly gotten an idea.

" What are you thinking?" Cecilia asked and wasn't sure she really wanted to know as she turned back to face him, hope in her voice. If he had found a way she was safe…for now.

" Simple; if the others find out about Scott he'll die and I need time to work on a solution. So until then he needs a guide. Someone who can be his eyes. In short; I want a telepath!"

" A telepath?! You want to kidnap a telepath and force him/her into helping Scott?! That is your great plan?" Cecilia asked disbelieving. That couldn't be done…could it? 

" Yes!" Sinister said and was already searching in his database for suitable candidates. 

" You have got to be out of your mind!" Cecilia said before she could stop herself. Sinister lifted his head and half smiled at her, stilling her quickly beating heart.

" That is a documented fact, doctor." 

She drew a relived breath; he hadn't been mad. Sometimes it was hard to tell what he would be mad about because it seemed to change with his mood. 

" Don't I get a say in all this?" Scott protested, tired of being overlooked.

"NO!" Both Sinister and Cecilia yelled at the same time.

" Wonderful," Scott bummed, feeling like a child again.

" I still say this is crazy," Cecilia mumbled under her breath as she looked over Sinister's shoulder at his computer screen. 

" Your objection is noted," Sinister said dryly and she knew she shouldn't push her luck any further. 

" How in the world did I ever get mixed up in all this?" Cecilia mumbled so lowly no one heard as Sinister searched for info on whoever would play the unwilling miracle for Scott.   

Part 3:

" Could you use any of them?" Sinister said as a way of greeting as he entered Cecilia's office. 

" And good day to you too," Cecilia mumbled under her breath as she turned towards him.

" I gave you five different telepaths. Weren't you able to use just one of them?" Sinister asked disbelieving as he saw that beside Scott who stood off to one side, the room was empty.

" They were all powerful mutants, sure, but I'll not trust any of them with Scott's life," Cecilia said harshly.  

" We sent them back to the pens," Scott said as he went towards his father.

" Have you had any attacks today?" Sinister asked worried.

" I had one at noon, while leading a routine search in town," he saw Sinister's worried look.

" Don't worry. Your bodyguards covered for me."

" Claimed someone had tried to shoot him. They sent him down here for a check up," Cecilia said with wry amusement.

" I knew that one day having guards loyal to me and not Apocalypse would prove useful," Sinister said with satisfaction.

" We can't keep doing this. Everyone is getting suspicious; especially Alex," Scott said.

" I still wish you'll let me tell Alex. I'm sure…" Cecilia began. She had taking care of the boys since they had been small. She couldn't believe Alex would wish his own brother ill. 

" Alex is ambitious and jealous of his brother besides I fear he is more loyal to Apocalypse than me," Sinister told her, his voice hard.

" I still can't believe that he'll betray Scott," Cecilia protested.

" Leave it alone, Doctor. I will not warn you again," Sinister said sharply.

" What do we do if we can't find a telepath to help me?" Scott asked, wanting to ease the sudden tension between his father and Cecilia.

" We will find one even if I then have to force him into helping you," Sinister answered determined.

" It is next to impossible even for someone of your power, to find a telepath outside these walls. They have all gone into hiding or are helping the resistance," Cecilia commented as she sat by her computer. " We'll have to find one among the prisoners."

" What do you think I have been doing these past days?" Sinister growled.

" Nothing which have helped," she mumbled under her breath in frustration at still not having a solution that could help the man who she viewed as her own son. " Look, this is a list over all telepaths in the pens," Cecilia pointed to the list that had showed up on her screen. Scott and Sinister leaned over her shoulder to read it.

" Executed him, died of his wounds, sent to Dark Beast," Scott said as he read the first three names. Cecilia removed them from the list.

" Killed her, experimented on him, lost her somewhere in the paperwork, Scott killed her family for treason," Sinister said and Cecilia removed more names.

" Is there anyone on this list that you haven't killed, tortured or otherwise given a damn good reason for wanting you dead in the most horrible way?" Cecilia asked dryly.

" Hmm, not many," Sinister admitted.

" Nah, but a few," Scott said with wry amusement.

" Wait. Go back up," Sinister ordered as Cecilia had scrolled further down the list.

" Elizabeth Braddock. It doesn't say why she is here," Cecilia read.

" I don't know her," Scott said as he had read her info.

" Great. Then we have a chance that she'll help," Cecilia said and smiled at him.

" Hey," Scott protested with false wounded pride.

" Children," Sinister said sternly but a smile played over his lips. " I don't know her either. I'll get my bodyguards to get her," Sinister said and turned to go.

" Father, the five telepaths who were here earlier…. they know about me," Scott told him.

" I know. You'll have to execute them in the morning," Sinister said and left.

" I didn't hear that," Cecilia mumbled, as she got ready to receive the telepath.

" There is no other way. You said yourself that we couldn't trust them," Scott softly told her.

" I know what I said. But I didn't want them killed," Cecilia protested and stopped before him and looked into his covered eyes.

" I know. I don't want to kill them. But I have to," Scott whispered and drew her into his embrace. She put her arms around him and took strength in his embrace. 

" All will be alright, Nagemya ["My Star" in Farsi]. You see," he whispered and kissed the top of her head as lightly as butterfly wings.

Part 4:

Where can he be? Cecilia wondered worried, as Scott hadn't showed up. Elizabeth was tied to a chair in Cecilia's lab and she was a handful to put it mildly. If that boy was late because of business which had anything at all to do with Apocalypse and his mad plans…. she'll kill him herself! Getting worried Cecilia began to pace her room.

" What? Wonder Boy still missing?"  Elizabeth asked sarcastically.

" Didn't I tell you to shut up?" Cecilia asked annoyed. She went to her computer. Something must have kept Scott and she feared it was something bad. She turned the computer on. 

" Computer, scan the entire compound. Find Prelate Scott Summers," Cecilia asked.

" Your computers can do that?! Our databases need to be updated," Elizabeth mumbled. Cecilia cast a fleeting look at the other woman. She was Chinese in appearance, had an English accent and had probably been beautiful once. Now her body and face were scarred by battle. She had obviously been with the Rebels. 

" Not every computer can do this. Only this one because Sinister designed it," Cecilia answered, wondering why she was even trying to hold a conversation with the other woman. She knew she wasn't supposed to but it was so long since she had talked with anyone but Scott, Sinister or Alex. 

" Prelate Summers located. Subject is on the top floor, third room from the right," the computer's female voice said.

" That's Scott's study. What is his condition?" Cecilia asked worried. He'll have come here as agreed if all was all right. It wasn't like him to miss an appointment.

" Subject cannot be scanned but subject is lying on the floor," the computer said again. 

" Oh, no. He must have had an attack again," Cecilia mumbled. What should she do? Someone would soon find Scott and if they found him unconscious…weak….

" Then shouldn't you go save him, Doc?" Elizabeth asked, her voice clearly saying that she couldn't care less.

" I can't. I can't walk on the upper levels," Cecilia's voice was desperate. " Computer, locate Sinister," she asked. He had access to the whole compound.

" Subject not in this building," the computer answered.

" Fucking wonderful," Cecilia mumbled annoyed. 

" Temper, temper, Doc," Elizabeth teased.

" Oh, shut up!" Cecilia yelled angrily. That woman was really beginning to bug her. She had to think. She couldn't help Scott herself and Sinister wasn't here. What about Sinister's personal bodyguards? No, Sinister would have taken the rest of them and if Scott was in his study alone then the 5 bodyguards Sinister had given him was either dead, not with him or had betrayed him. So, that only left her with one option…

" Computer, locate Alexander Summers," Cecilia asked grimly. Sinister would not be pleased but she didn't believe that Alex would betray his own brother.

" Subject located in hallway 5, going towards the east end," the computer said.

" Is he alone?"

" Yes," the computer answered.

" Good. Call him," Cecilia asked and suddenly Alex's face appeared on her screen as he talked into the comsystem, which had the size of a wristwatch.

" Cecilia! What is it? I'm busy," Alex asked annoyed as he continued to walk down the hallway.

" Alex, your brother is in trouble," Cecilia said and studied his face in hope of seeing if she could read anything there. She couldn't.

" Really? Where is he?"

" You have to swear to me that you won't tell anyone about this. Not even Sinister. Do you swear?" Cecilia pressed. Alex sighed.

" Fine, I swear. Now tell me where my brother is."

" He's in his study. He's…ill. Take him to me and then leave. Just take him to me, okay?" Cecilia pressed.

" He is sick? I'll get him," Alex said and broke the connection. Cecilia stared for a while on the black screen.

" He'll betray you," Elizabeth said softly.

" No…no, he won't," Cecilia denied. He would never betray his own brother…would he?

Part 5:      

" What is taking him so long?" Cecilia asked worried to no one. It had been four hours since she had sent Alex to get Scott. Something was very wrong. 

" I told you, Doc. He has betrayed you," Elizabeth said. 

" No," Cecilia denied. He would never do that…would he? She had to be realistic. Something WAS wrong. Though she dreaded what she would see, she turned on the computer. " Computer, find Prelate Scott Summers," she ordered and hoped her voice didn't sound as weak as she feared.

" Prelate Scott Summers located in the lower levels," the computer answered.

" Be more specific, damn it!" Cecilia cursed. Scott never went to the lower levels if he could help it. The pens were on the lower levels…the pens and Dark Beast. 

" Level 3, room 23," the computer answered. Cecilia's heart stopped beating. That was Beast's lab.

" And…and his condition?" she whispered softly.

" Cannot find this information. A visual image can be shown. Do you want to be shown a visual?" the computer asked. Cecilia nodded until she remembered she had to verbally answer.

" Yes," she said softly, her heart in her throat. An image appeared on the screen. It was Beast's lab. Scott was on some kind of machine, his arms and legs tied and he screamed in pain. His body was blooded and…. Good Lord, he was missing his right hand!

" Scott!" Cecilia cried. It was as if he could hear her for Scott turned pained towards the camera and almost smiled to her. Then his eyes glanced over and he lay still.

" NO!!!!" Cecilia screamed and beat with her fists on the computer screen. Beast appeared on the screen.

" He is dead," Dark Beast said disappointed.

" Oh, well. Can you relive him? I think he'll have talked soon. It'll be nice to know who covered for him. After this Apocalypse will promote me for sure," Alex's voice said satisfied as he came into view.

" You! You…Judas! You sold out your own brother for power," Cecilia accused to the image on the screen though she knew he couldn't hear or see her. 

" I can but he'll die within minutes anyway. Sinister will be back in a few hours. I think he'll like a report," Dark Beast said.

" Very well," Alex disappeared from Cecilia's screen.

" What shall I do with the body?" Dark Beast asked.

" What we always do with traitors and weaklings. Cut it up and use it in your experiments," Alex said harshly as he left. Finally he was the strong; finally he was no longer in his brother's shadow. 

Cecilia turned the screen off as in trance, not noticing the tears running down her cheeks.

"Wow, THAT is one sick man," Elizabeth commented on Alex or Dark Beast Cecilia wasn't sure 

" Scott," Cecilia whispered softly. He was gone. He was truly gone.

" What was that man to you anyway?" Elizabeth asked and tried to get out of her bonds again and again didn't succeed.

" None of your business," Cecilia said harshly, keeping her back to the other woman so she wouldn't see her tears.

" Look, Doc, we may be on different sides here but right now I'll say we are in the same shit," Elizabeth said. Cecilia wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. She had cried too many tears over the years….way too many.

" He…He betrayed his own brother," Cecilia finally turned to Elizabeth, hoping she could explain it all.

" I said he would," Elizabeth said, her voice a little softer. " Was he your lover?" she asked, searching Cecilia's face for clues but she saw no more tears, only a need to understand why.

" Not really," Cecilia said softly. Then she seemed to overcome her shock. " They'll kill you after this."

" I know," Elizabeth said calmly. Cecilia took a scalpel from her desk and went to Elizabeth. " Do it," Elizabeth whispered, turning her head so her throat was bared. Cecilia stared oddly at her before cutting her bonds, freeing her. Elizabeth quickly stood up and went towards the front door that she had entered through.

" No. Here, take the back way; it leads to outside. They'll find you at once if you enter there; it leads to the hallway and there're guards there. Here you have a chance," Cecilia said and guided Elizabeth towards the backdoor.

" Why are you helping me?" Elizabeth asked confused as she stood by the back door.

" Because I have nothing left to lose," Cecilia answered softly, a sad edge in her voice. Elizabeth's eyes softened. 

" You helped me, now let me help you," before Cecilia could do anything Elizabeth had closed her hands around Cecilia's neck, squeezing tight.

" *chook* Let…. me…go," Cecilia protested, trying to break free.

" Schhh. This will be much kinder than whatever they will do to you," Elizabeth whispered, her tone almost loving.

" NO!" with a strength she didn't know she had she came free from Elizabeth. She tried to regain her breath. " Go. Just…go," Cecilia said. Elizabeth nodded.

" I was just…."

" I know. Just get out," Cecilia repeated, no heat in her voice. Elizabeth nodded and went through the door. " And…good luck." Cecilia took a pill from her desk. "Here," she throw it to Elizabeth who caught it and smiled as she saw what it was. 

" Thanks," Elizabeth whispered and was gone.

" You'll need all the luck you can get," Cecilia whispered and went to her computer screen. " Show subject who just left. Visual," she ordered. An image of outside the compound showed up. She saw Elizabeth move silently from bush to bush and her heart beat wildly in her chest. Please, let her make it, she prayed. She was almost out of shooting range from the guards in the tower when someone spotted her. 

" Run!" Cecilia yelled to the screen and she saw Elizabeth run towards safety, over the open land. A bullet caught her in the leg. She forced herself up and tried to run on. A bullet caught her in the shoulder and another in her arm. She fell to the ground. " God, no," Cecilia whispered and covered her mouth with her hand. She saw the blood coming from Elizabeth's wounds. They were severe but she could unfortunately be saved. Cecilia was torn between hoping she'll live and hoping she'll die. She saw Elizabeth smile weakly as if she knew Cecilia was watching and took the pill in her mouth and swallowed. The words " Thank you," formed on Elizabeth's lips before her eyes stiffened and she lay still.

" I'll say rest in peace but I know they won't let you," Cecilia mumbled as she saw the guards run to Elizabeth's body and started taking it away. 

Part 6:

It felt like hours but it was only minutes until Cecilia finally managed to tear her eyes away from the monitor and as in trance she turned it off. Right now she only felt numb but she knew from experience that pain always followed. No, she shook her head in denial. She had no more time for sorrows and no more tears to cry. Strange; she had thought she had lost the ability to cry but Scott's death had painfully drawn the last from her eyes…she had no more tears left to cry for her own fate. 

She knew Elizabeth had been right; this was the end. Sinister would never forgive this; he had never been a forgiving man and Scott had been his only weakness if ever he had one. She considered her options and didn't like them; she couldn't escape…she had tried to run away before and it had always brought more pain than what she was running from. When first Sinister had saved her when she had been eighteen she had been happy, seen him like a guardian angel…yes, she had even started to have warm feelings for him. He had been the first to ever show her compassion until she found it hadn't been compassion at all but simply because she fitted into his plans. She remembered the hours on end where he had trained her to be his medic and his assistant in his lab; any mistake would be severely punished with no hint of regret or remorse on his face. It had strangely comforted her that he never hit her with his fits; it was always some kind of devise put onto her skin that would inflict agony in her entire body if he pushed a control button. She would never forget the words he had said to her the first time he had used such a device on her; she had been laying on the floor, pained, broken, confused with tears down her cheeks, her voice small and hoarse from screaming as she whispered a single question; 'why?' 

He had knelt down beside her and for a moment something had flashed in his eyes but was then quickly gone as he had told her;

"Abandon all attempts to love me. Don't fool yourself that's what you feel. When you at last decide to hate me at least your emotion will be real."

And she had come to hate him; more so than anyone else. She had quickly come to fear him as well but as time went by she found it was the pain she feared and not him. When he said a small word of satisfaction with her work she couldn't help but smile and feel happy. Her emotions had gone from growing love, to deep hate to…. she did not know. She had never dared to analyze what she felt for him. She saw now that he had taken her, broken her and slowly begun to rebuild her in his image; to his pleasure. He could and would crush her should he so desire, he had no pity, wave on wave of grief…..yes, she had learned well that no one left him without his consent and those who did were damaged and stripped of every vestige of good. She had only kept a glimmer of light; of humanity because he had allowed her to, because he had needed it because hadn't she had it she could have been more of a threat to Scott than a protector. 

Wolfish and savage…red eyes like a demon. He was tuned to madness and walked a thin line of sanity. He was unpredictable and unreadable. Could she really put her life in his hands and hope against hope that somehow a small flicker of light shore deep inside him? Such a question brought her back to the one she had avoided asking herself; what was Sinister to her? Was it possible to hate and love one man equally deeply? She did hate him; he had brought her such agony and pain, stripped her of her dignity, broken her only to rebuild her. Everything she was he had made her; every freedom she had he had allowed her. The truce they shared now and had shared for the last twelve years he had made and allowed. Though when he said something nice to her, when he smiled a very very rare smile….if he touched her with a gentle touch…those were so rare moments but she found she counted them as good memories.

The choice wasn't really up to her; she had never had a choice. Dead or alive, he owned her and always had. Only difference was that now she found that he didn't just own her mind, body and soul…he owned her heart as well….a heart that burned equally bright with hate…and with love. She felt a strange sense of peace after having admitted that, a peace she hadn't known was possible to have when knowing she most likely only had hours left to live. She had always kept a diary and began to write her last thoughts and feelings into it before there would be no more time. Something about a half finished book and a half written page always looked so sad but that couldn't be helped now. So...she wrote and for a while she forgot where she was and what was about to happen. 

Part 7:  

" Cecilia?" Sinister's voice came from the door to her lab and she went to him. She had changed clothes as her room was connected to the lab. She now wore a pretty long white dress instead of her medical coat and pants.

"Yes?" she came to him. His eyes, his face, his posture was all unreadable but she knew that he had heard what happened.

" You let the telepath go," it wasn't a question. She just nodded. " Why did you stay?"

" I wanted to explain…and then I knew that I'll never have made it. I'm not battle trained. I wouldn't know what to do to try and avoid the guards," her voice was soft as she came nearer and they now stood only a foot apart. Sinister stretched out his hand and let it run softly over her cheek.

" You betrayed me," he whispered and steel had entered his voice.

" I did not believe Alex would do this." Her eyes and voice held no fear though she had known since Scott's death that she'd not get out of this alive. Yet, as with all humans, she still held on to a desperate hope. He had saved her once; he could do it again. If it hadn't been for him, she would have been killed years ago. To the world she was dead, she prayed that tonight the world wouldn't be proved right. 

" I warned you," now his voice sounded almost anguished. 

"Scott's guards…" she began.

" He had no guards when in his private champers. It would draw attention," Sinister said hardly. Then it really was all on her head.

" I see," she whispered. He caressed her cheek again and she pressed her cheek against his hand.

" I have ordered your execution," he said softly and she nodded.

" I knew you would but I had hoped you wouldn't," she admitted, knowing he would see such admittance to a foolish emotion like hope as weak but it was too late now anyway as she stepped away from him.

" Cecilia," he reached for her but she turned away from him.

" Do I mean so little to you?" she asked sadly and though he couldn't see her face, her voice let him know that she was fighting tears. Tears she had thought she didn't have anymore…..tears for herself…or for him? Her mind was a mess of conflicting impulses and she wouldn't have been able to say for sure.

" This isn't about me. This is about what you did. This is about my son. This is about Scott," he said harshly and withdrew the hand he had offered her. She wiped her eyes and turned towards him, her eyes blazing.

" I loved him too. He was my son as well," she said, getting angry herself.

" He was never yours!"

" How dare you?! He was as much my son as yours," she said angrily, knowing such words could mean punishment but she had trouble seeing how much worse things could get than this.

" I…I know," he finally said and looked lost, so lost, without the one person who had meant so much to him. Cecilia went to him and put her arms around him.

" There is no weakness in emotions, Essex. There never was. Grief is a natural part of loss. Please…don't do anything you'll regret," she whispered and he tightened his arms around her for a while before releasing her.

" I…. I have to do this," he whispered. She nodded.

" Then promise me two things; Avenge Scott; kill Dark Beast and Alex………and don't give my body to any lab. Let me rest in peace."

" That I can promise you," Sinister said softly. She smiled sadly at him. 

" Of all the fates I have encountered in my years, somehow….yours always stuck me as the saddest. For who wants to live forever…alone?" she kissed him on the lips and he kissed her back, taking comfort in her for one last time before letting her go. 

"You can't inflict any pain that's more than this living hell I've been through…..But I love you, Nathaniel," she whispered.

" I never asked you to," he answered softly.

" I know," she sounded sad.

Sinister called his bodyguards over his whist-com and his guards appeared in the door.

" Remember what you promised," Cecilia said as she was guided away with unusual gentleness and compassion. What Cecilia didn't know was that it wasn't the guards compassion and gentleness; it was Sinister's. Before he had went to her, he had ordered them to be gentle and kind with her…or he would give them a slow and agonizing death which he just might give them anyway as anger was the only way he knew to express grief.

" I will," he promised as she was being guided down the hallway. She was disappearing from view and first now did the fact that he was losing her hit him. " And Cecilia…" she turned towards him. " I…I…"the words wouldn't come, they never had and never would but she knew what he wanted to say. She smiled a brilliant smile at him.

" I know," she said softly and looked one last time at him. As he stood alone in the hallway, growing smaller in her line of vision he reminded her of a quote she had forgotten she knew; forgotten from where it came and who had taught it to her;

The man inspires a thousand lies  
Remaining coldly in control  
Aware that sadly, on the whole  
That may well not exist  
The demon at the story's heart  
The cuckoo in the nest  
Gives so little of himself away  
So judge if you can -  
The devil incarnate or  
A misunderstood man

Devil or man? She would have swore the first for so long; ironically enough now that she knew it was all about to end; knew she would finally find peace….she also knew it had to be the last….a misunderstood man….or a misunderstood love. 

Sinister looked at the closed door at the end of the hallway for a while before turning away and turning on the computer he had given Cecilia, her only window to the outside world.             

" Computer, locate Cecilia Reyes," he asked softly and the walls seemed to mock him with their echo. " Visual."

An image appeared. Cecilia was outside the compound by the east side, Sinister's private entrance. She looked unafraid but he could see the fear in her eyes and the tears that she fought to hold back and the worst part was that he knew she was holding the tears back for him, proving to him that she was strong. She was offered a blindfold, which she refused. His captain saluted her as his guards lined up. As they were to shoot she looked directly at the camera, knowing he would watch over her till the end as he had in life and her lips formed the word "remember" before the shoots sounded and she fell to the ground. As Sinister had ordered the guards began to dig a grave, just to the left from his private entrance so he would always be close to her. For some morbid reason Sinister watched it all. Saw the grave, saw his captain gently wrap Cecilia's body in a white sheet, saw her body being gently put in the grave and knew it was in fear of his punishment and not because of her they were being so gentle and that angered him. He saw his captain put the stone on the gravesite as he had ordered. Then all was still as the guards left. 

Sinister beat his fist hard and angrily down onto the table. What gave her the right to betray him? What gave her the right to leave him? She had betrayed him; she deserved all this. No lover's comfort, coldness, loneliness…..abandoned and alone. Eyes that betray and lips that lie, deceit, weakness….. She had killed herself, it was her own fault…yet why did he then wait for her demons to arrive and blame him for her death? 

She would twist the knife she had managed to put through his heart even from beyond the grave. No forgiveness, no comfort….he wished she would never find any kind of peace or comfort in death, never find rest in the cold ground…….He was left to wonder who had been most severely punished by her death…her or himself and he could it was the latter. He wanted her back now, in any shape or form…..he needed her back…..lies and deceit……nothing was ever as simple as it looked. He had manipulated her but she had manipulated his heart….she would haunt him forever and never leave him….a ghost, a pain…a bittersweet memory……bringing comfort and agony all at the same time. How could he have known that his only love would spring from his deepest hate?  
Alone with his grief and anger Sinister read the stone he had given Cecilia. Since the world already thought her dead he had been unable to put her name on the stone so instead he used Scott's name for her…. though he had never said it out loud, that name had been the one he had used for her in his dreams;

Nagemya,

From the start 

It was wrong

But it felt so right

No matter what

I can promise this

You shall always

Rest In Peace

The End 


End file.
